The fact that this is my number one fact about myself, just shows how interesting I am.. Strap in guys, you're in for a thrilling ride :)))))
The reason this is one of the first facts I thought of, is because it's the one that shocks people the most! I don't know what it is about eggs?? Probably the smell? But I just absolutely despise them! Obviously I have no problem with things containing egg (e.g. cake) (I LOVE DE CAKE). But even omelettes (eurghh) get a big fat NO from me.
2. I have a rather fab scar on my belly-
Now I realise that uploading a bikini selfie to a blog is a bit strange (some may call it attention seeking, i don't care) but this is the best way to show it clearly rather than trying to badly describe it.
To be honest this should probably have been my number one fact, but hey ho! The egg thing grabbed your attention right?
So this scar, although I like to tell people is from where I leant over a chainsaw, or was attacked by a shark, it is actually from when I was born!
Now I'll have to double check with mum to make sure I haven't told you this wrong, but when I was born I was infact a true believer in 'the early bird catches the worm' as I was born 2 months early! Mum said that she hadn't felt me move in a while, was worried and so dashed to the hospital, there they found that my bowel (small intestine in particular was twisted) and need to be removed in order to keep me alive (don't get emosh, there's a happy ending! Obviously, as I'm still alive..) However, they told my poor ol' parents that little 3lb 5oz Kez only had a 5% chance of living! (cue the violins part 2) However being the little trooper that I am, they cut me open, removed the twisted bit of intestine and stretched the remaining intestine so that everything still functioned okay.) So instead of my intestine going in a zig zag all the way down like the average person, mine zig zags at the start and then stretches in a diagonal straight line towards the end. (As far as I'm aware anyway? Hold on I'll check...) The best part of this story is how they checked to make sure everything had worked and was functioning okay..
They waited for me to do a poo.
I had a crowd of highly qualified doctors and surgeons around me, waiting for baby Kez to do a poo.
To end the story, Kez did a poo and all is fine and dandy now!
3. I do a bloomin' excellent impression of Miranda Sings-
That's all that needs to be said really.
4. I used to have ginger hair-
My Mum will be reading this and will go "It was strawberry blonde!" but it was ginger okay. I had a little ginger mohawk that was untameable and I was just a real treat as a toddler.
5. And I turned orange from eating too much carrot baby food-
So to add to the delicious ginger mohawk, I used to turn a nice shade of orange. Yes you read that right, and yes your visions of an oompa loompa are spot on. Where I was a bit of a picky eater as a baby, all I would eat was this one brand of carrot baby food. And where they were so concerned with fattening me up, as I was a small bubba, if I wanted carrot baby food, I WAS GONNA GET IT. So orange mohawk and orange face.. (not too dissimilar to some of the girls you see out clubbing nowadays?)
6. I've danced at the Royal Albert Hall-
Probably the only claim to fame that I'm gonna get, so I like to milk it for all it's worth, when I was younger, the dance school that I was with was given an opportunity to dance at the Royal Albert Hall as part of the Mardi Gras 'Stars In The Round' show. We did a street piece to the absolute banger that is Craig David 'Whats Your Flava' and I wore a delightful denim mini skirt, orange headband and orange netted gloves (I was a style icon). Although we were told that we would be dancing in front of the Queen, sadly she was unable to attend, but we did meet one of the boys who played Billy Elliot in the West End at the time!
7. I love football-
I'm sure this fact is going to be greeted by "Oh yeah kez, of course you do love, just like every other girl trying to impress lads." But seriously I really do love football, in my eyes there would be no better first date (hint hint nudge nudge). I know what the offside rule is, without the need for any salt/pepper or various other condiments as visual aids. I love going to watch my brother play (even though he hates it, because my mum, my sister and I are virtually the only females that ever go to watch, so we just look like the Alex Appreciation Society at the side of the pitch, but that's what sisters are there for right? To embarrass!) But the football I love going to watch the most is that of the mighty West Ham United! Controversial I know, but my family roots lie near the Boyeln Ground, so there also lies my allegiance to the club and also my unconditional love for Mark Noble and James Tomkins (insert heart eye emoji x1000). The cockney accent does me in EVERY SINGLE TIME.
8. I cannot handle the heat
To put it simply, I hate spicy food. How can a meal that involves setting your mouth on fire, getting the sweats and then consequently having to extinguish the fire in your mouth with water/milk be seen as enjoyable???
9. I have Ketchup with virtually EVERY MEAL-
I know this is a real deal breaker in relationships and dinner etiquette, but as they say, honesty is the best policy! I have ketchup on everything. (Including roast dinners.)
10. I CANNOT EAT sandwiches made by someone i don't know-
Just let me explain myself with this one.
If I'm at a party or a gathering and there's plates of mini sandwiches, I will not eat them. I have no idea where this weird inability to eat perfectly good sandwiches came from, but I just can't. That being said, I can eat sandwiches from shops, even though they would've been made by someone who I don't know?? So if you ever offer me a sandwich and I turn it down, please don't be offended, I'm just a bit odd.
11. I am the most open person you'll probably ever meet-
I'm not afraid to talk about ANYTHING.
12. I've been on the TV once-
It was when I was in primary school, and we were sending off shoeboxes of things to those less fortunate than us in Africa. However in true Kez fashion I forgot to bring mine to school with me, so not wanting to miss out on being on TV, I stole someone else's and claimed it as my own AHAHAA.
I was such a cow.
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